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Voted Most Chill in High School

by The New Clear Lawn Chairs

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    First Edition cassette. Yellow. Limited to 24 copies.

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1.
I met the teenage kids at a park when I was like 8 years old, I was alone, riding a bike at 6 p.m. They called me over, said "Hey dude, nice light up sketchers". They had torn jeans and cigarettes, got freaked the fuck out, hoped on a bike and left Now i'm 19 years old, and I feel dumb and useless, I complain about kids I hate, and let my phone go to voicemail I'm still the same suburban kid, and now the only difference is that all my jeans have tears in them, and my parents beg me to stop smoking cigarettes But I get freaked out, oh god I freak out, guys I need a minute to chill But I don't wanna complain, because I feel fucking lame when I am screaming these sappy shitty punk songs. It's easy to say you didn't try, when your band can't stay in time. I'm just not that good, yeah I don't think i'm that good. I'm turning down all my blinds, when I'm jerking off in my apartment all alone. Clean myself off and think to myself, like Fuck, man. I'm not really doing that great, I wish i was back in the fifth grade playing Ps2 games, eating leftovers, while Jawbreaker plays on the stereo and I fantasize about my life when I'm 20 years old.
2.
Hey man, here's congratulations. You're talking harsh, you're living hard, you're the local star. And I know that you fucking hate it, but hey you're punk, so go get drunk with all your shit friends I guess being a dick is counter culture This hipster just did a line in my parents basement
3.
Big dick kid stole my bike again. I can't get into Minor Threat. Kids with mopeds rule the school. I think i'm out of key again. I gotta admit, I gotta admit, I think I really dig this Class president, class president, Donny Darko's a good movie Daniel Barin, Daniel Barin, and the quest for glory. These songs all suck, These songs all suck, I dig your backwards hat man Forever bummed, i'm gonna be forever bummed. And I don't really even care, whatever, forever, whatever bummed. Forever bummed, i'm gonna be forever bummed. Is it really gonna last forever, forever, man?
4.
Dad pick me up, from these kids, who are stuck in their vans, with contraband, debaucherous plans, another awesome saturday night. So i'll complain and pretend that i'm above this shit, pretentious kid, whiney dick, burn holes in the roof the prius. Show me vinyl collections, your indie pop is rad, I scraped my kneecaps at Jorges 4th grade birthday party, enter relationships I know will be over in three months. I'm turning 20, It fucking terrifies me. (Daniel Barin procedes to kill on the mic for a little bit) You're so cool. Blah, Blah, Blah. I bet you've never even seen the Mighty Ducks 2. I'm wasting weekday nights, but at least there wasn't a lot of potential to lose Well, I can't grow up from my adolescence. Haven't changed my shirt in days. All my friends are moving out to apartments with girlfriends, employment. You guys all suck.

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released November 5, 2015

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The New Clear Lawn Chairs Marietta, Georgia

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